I’ll Have a Biscotti

In Sarah Palin’s upcoming memoir, Going Rogue, she writes that if she and Hillary Clinton were ever to meet for coffee that “I know that we would fundamentally disagree on many issues. But my hat is off to her hard work on the 2008 campaign trail”.

Now we learn that later today on Meet the Press, Hillary Clinton will be asked about this, in spite of the fact that as Secretary of State, she’s sort of got her hands full at the moment, going around the world, shoring up and repairing relations with, well, the entire rest of the planet, seeing as how they were so badly battered by eight years of arrogance and incompetence by the Bush/Cheney administration. In spite of all of this, the Associated Press reports that Clinton gamely takes the question at face value, saying that it would be “very interesting” to sit down and talk with Sarah.

Way to understate the case, Hillary. “Very interesting”?

Well, let’s listen in …

Palin: … and it’s just so important, don’tcha think, Hillary, that women like us show the other gals out there, the moms at home raising the kids while their husbands are God-knows where up on the North Slope doing whatever for months on end, that we’re just as good as those men and that we can run things too, like the biggest state there is, or even a country like you and me came so close to doing last year.

Clinton: Um, yes, well …

Palin: And we have all these things in common, Hillary, like how we were both bashed by the liberal media. Of course, not as much as I was, me and Todd and the kids, and especially Bristol, with all that pregnancy thing that the media blew completely out of proportion when all I was trying to do was take something awful and turn it around so that it would help my campaign, and I wasn’t exploiting Bristol and Levi, well maybe I was, but isn’t that something that you would have done in my shoes ? Because you know how the media can be. They don’t believe in the flag and the troops and they’re not like the average Jane and Joe who have to work two jobs to put mooseburgers on the table and have to go out and hunt so that they have food to tie them over the winter, like Todd and me and some of the regular folks that we know in back in Wasilla. So when the media attacks us because Bristol gets knocked-up, we fight back just like regular tax-paying Americans do, so it’s not exploiting Bristol when we do that, and besides, Hillary, I’m sure that if your daughter got pregnant just when it started to look like all your dreams for power and glory were about to come true, you’d do the same thing too …

Clinton: Well now, I don’t think so, Governor …

Palin: … Ex-Governor, Hillary, because as you know I quit being governor of Alaska because of the lame-duckness that I wanted to avoid so that I could go out and make changes and move forward telling the American people “like it is” about how the liberals want to have Nazi stormtroopers drag us out of our beds and ask us how we want to die just so that we can have socialized medicine like they do in England, who, hey, didn’t we fight a war in 1776 to get away from them and their king and his doctors who work for the state? Now, I’m not talking about you, Hillary, but some of the people that you work for, you know, like President Obama and that Rahm guy, who does he think he is anyway ? You know there are just too many …

Clinton: Now wait a minute, Sarah …

Palin: … people like that, and I don’t know how any self-respecting, glass-ceiling busting gal like you could put up working with a bunch of folks who want us to change this country into Soviet Russia by making us turn everything over to the government so that grandma has to pick out the urn where they’ll put her ashes because she’s not allowed to even get a coffin anymore because the bureaucrats are telling her now that she’ll have to be cremated, which is not even Christian, because if you don’t have a body when the Rapture comes, then you won’t even be able to rise up again, and all because now we’re becoming like Germany in the 1930, and I know, and I think that you know that regular folks, the ones who make America the shining beacon of liberty that it is, with freedom, troops, low taxes, Glenn Beck, and keeping those Mexicans in their lawless country where they belong instead of cleaning our hotels …

Clinton: How can you think like that, when …

Palin: … and don’t get me wrong, Hillary, we need clean hotels, car wash attendants, people to cut our grass and pick our vegetables, but by Americans, regular folks who love God, the troops, the flag flapping in the breeze, and aren’t afraid to tell it like it is to those people who would make us slaves in our own country and throw out all the freedoms that have made this the greatest country that God ever blessed. That’s how Todd says it, you know, he thinks that God has really blessed us, not just America, but our family, with Bristol and Willow, Track, Trig, and the twins, Brace and Bit, and even though we’ve had some stumble bumps in our marriage, we are persevering because that’s what Americans do, and well you certainly know about that don’t you, Hillary? And that’s what I admire about you the most, how you stood by your man in spite of all the lying, the bimbos, and the cigars …

Clinton (to waiter): CHECK …