With the Florida Republican primary just one day away, there remains one major Florida politician who is conspicuous in his absence. Former governor Jeb Bush — who many, if not most, in the Republican party wish were one of their choices instead of the passel of carny sideshow freaks who are currently crisscrossing the Sunshine State — has neither endorsed a candidate, nor has he even shown face at an appearance by either Romney, Paul, Santorum, or half-man/half-pig etc. Newt Gingrich. In a state in which Jeb Bush is still revered in ways even Ronald Reagan might envy, this is no small omission.
Jeb’s brother, former President Shit-for-Brains, has been sitting this campaign out, too, and has been telling everyone that he has no intention of getting involved. Which probably comes as a relief to all four current Republican contenders, who are painfully aware that the W’s eight years in the White House are viewed as an unmitigated catastrophe by even the most extreme elements within the Republican party, and want no connection with him whatsoever.
Not so with Jeb, though. There isn’t a one of these candidates who wouldn’t welcome an endorsement by Jeb Bush with open arms, and in the case of Gingrich, open legs. Of course, Newt won’t get one because to the Bushes, Gingrich is the American Saddam Hussein, and there are elements within the Bush family who would like to see Newt suffer the same fate as Saddam. It is on this one point which we here at OMT are in complete agreement with the Bushes. You’ll want to make a note of this, because it isn’t very likely that you’ll find us in agreement with the Bushes on anything else.
As for Paul and Santorum, well, they’re just whack-jobs and aren’t worth discussing, any more than they’re worth a Bush endorsement.
Which brings us to Mitt Romney, the establishment candidate. The one who, on paper at least, seems to be the most suitable in the bunch to qualify for a Bush endorsement.
And he’s gotten one, actually. The old man, George H. W., endorsed Mitt some time ago, while at the same time taking a shot at Newt Hussein by saying that at least Mitt isn’t “a bomb-thrower”. Hardly a ringing endorsement, if you ask us. Mitt, the object of a concerted “anybody but Romney” movement throughout the course of this campaign, gets one of his biggest endorsements from someone with an “anybody but Gingrich” agenda.
The bright side of the shabby way that the Republicans have been treating Mitt in this campaign is that it’s great training for the presidency, should Mitt manage to go all the way. Unlike President Obama, Mitt won’t be knocked off his feet by a hot kiss at the end of a wet fist when all of that overflowing love and support he enjoyed throughout the campaign suddenly evaporates into a cold fog, and all of those millions of people from all across America who seemed to love him just a short while ago, are outside the gates of the White House calling for his head. Never having known what it’s like to be loved, Mitt won’t miss it when it’s gone.
The way we see it, once Santorum drops out — which we think he will shortly after he comes in dead last in Florida — this is going to be a three-way race all the way to the convention. Newt may get his ass handed to him tomorrow in Florida, but there are plenty of other primaries to come with plenty of other opportunities for Newt to reach out with his message of bitterness and hatred to a Republican electorate teeming with both. And Ron Paul will remain the turtle in this race of jackrabbits, operating just underneath the radar of a media that would be well advised to upgrade to Doppler, gathering just enough delegates along the way to act as a spoiler at the convention, keeping both the hapless Mitt and the thinking man’s moron, Gingrich, just shy of the number of delegates needed to win on the first ballot.
After several more ballots in which no clear consensus is reached, the party will turn in its desperation to someone else, a fresh face, someone not tainted by this two-year campaign, someone who hasn’t squandered all of their dignity at freak-show debates, sniping with fringe crazies posing as presidential candidates. Someone who has a treasure-trove of love from within the ranks of the party faithful that he’s acquired over the years, and quietly managed to salt away, invest, and grow into a sizable nest-egg of good will. Someone who will now appear to be the savior of the party — nothing less than a Republican Jesus Christ. Someone who will be able to march into the convention like it was the Second Coming, and lead the party to victory in November, sweeping all of the faithful Republicans up in a cloud of glory, while all of the liberals, sodomites, Negros, Jews, and other undesirables are Left Behind to smite one another until St. Ronnie of Bonzo comes back at the right hand of the Almighty to bring an end to all of the evil in the world.
Someone like Jeb Bush.
And Jeb knows this. Knowing what he knows, would you endorse one of these worthless losers when you have everything to gain? When you might end up being the most powerful Bush who ever lived?
The old man was a weak wimp, who cried at the drop of a hat, and who threw up on the Japanese Prime Minister at a state dinner.
The brother was a stupid, classless, frat-boy and worthless piece of shit from start to finish.
But Jeb.
Now, Jeb could really be somebody.
Just when his party is teetering on the brink of disaster, Jeb could sweep in from the wings and save the day.
Of course, once anointed as party savior, this crowd would turn on him immediately. And there would be a lot of lingering resentment from all of those candidates who were out there for two years doing all of the heavy lifting in this campaign, only to be kicked to the gutter at the last minute in favor of one of those born-with-a-silver-foot-in-his-mouth Bushes. And even a Bush would likely not placate the legions of Ron Paul anarchists, or the seriously committed neo-Nazis and Klansmen within the ranks of the Republican party who want nothing less than total Armageddon, with blood running in the streets of our festering inner cities.
But all that aside, this could be Jeb’s year.
If it were us, we wouldn’t endorse anyone either.
And besides, we’ve already had two Bushes in the White House, and the world didn’t come to an end.
The third time just might be the charm.
